Freeze Frame Rewind
by I.C. Fire
Summary: To choose a path is to follow that unknown; but how can you undo the past?


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Disclaimer: None of the characters etc are mine apart from the one's you recognise, I own the plot and that is about it... they really belong to J. K. Rowling! Yippee! She's a genius.

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Author's Note: This is a story about some strange stuff but it will have a very sad ending... Oh I've been sad about it for days, when I was discussing it with Green_Pig I actually had tears in my eyes, how pathetic is that... Anyway it will have about, I dunno how many parts not too many I hope but it's all strange and I hope you bare with me on this one.

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The wind crashes against the walls of these buildings yet they stand strong, unlike me, the wind thrashes my heart apart and rips me open with lance like precision - I have not an ounce of strength left to stop it - not anymore. It will tare me down like so many things in its path, I had never before noticed how hollow I was, how empty of feeling or void of emotion, not till this day. The one where I stand-alone.

Freeze Frame _Rewind_

To choose a path is to follow that unknown but how can you undo the past?

And When It Echo's

The thunder crashed outside, the lightning bore into the corridor imposing its light on the marble floors, Severus Snape met the light like it were an intruder. Light wasn't meant to enter the Dungeons, not to set its undaunted gaze upon him. He'd never be able to stop it and yet he didn't really want to. It was a constant reminder of what was, or what will be...

He opened his eyes as another great shaft hit the ground outside casting an eerie tone to his face for brief moments his eyes, the black consuming hollow that they had become remained the glittering flashing black the light had created for longer, he could feel it.

The thunder sounded like a rock fall as the whip crack like lightning struck the window blasting it open. Severus looked at it for a moment feeling the perhaps there was something amiss, the wind howled outside sending his cloak billowing about him as the window shook and rattled on its hinges. The closer he got to the window the more he could feel the rain hit him, strike his face like tiny pins ready to do damage. He stopped and watched as another strike lit the floor in front of him causing him to jump back.

Something was out there, something terrifying and yet for the life of him he didn't know what it was. It was a presence but not a strong one; it seemed weak, dragging itself to this point in a vague struggle for its existence. This was more of a dream than a reality there was no way he could just feel it coming like he knew it was there.

The wind let out a violent echo and the window shut the flashes of thunder stopping and the darkness returning and the rain sounding peacefully outside like nothing was wrong, like he'd seen nothing at all, he could still feel it though. The dangerous creature trying to throw him along with a peaceful eye before returning the violence the destruction, the pain. There would always be pain, pain that lies in memory like fear. Fear, the one last hurdle to over come yet he felt it, greater than before reaching a peak before the storm set in again settling his heart and mind at ease unlike that perceived to be real.

The storm brought him comfort he didn't know why but he could understand the turmoil in the skies but not the tranquillity in the air, it was almost ruptured as a window behind him was struck by lightning causing him to run into the opposite wall in shock, it was all around him. He turned to looks at it like he'd never seen such beauty before the flickers of golden white light blazed into the room before darkening again while the rain sounded its tiny pitter patter against the glass.

A second almighty howl of wind blasted the second window open a second time, but it wasn't alone this time. A tall lean figure stood in the doorway the eyes misted over like the skies everything about it dark. He stayed against the wall while it approached him - out stretched hands clasping about his neck, clearly the figure wanted to hurt him but wasn't strong enough. The long unkempt finger nails pressing to his flesh but he stood looking at their owner, it was a woman, her robes so torn her thighs were partly exposed her skin was covered in dirt and her whole body shook from the force exerted on him though it was having no effect on him before she passed out.

He considered his next move carefully was he to tell Dumbledore about this or to see if he could discover what this was about by himself. This woman had frightened him before he even saw her coming, there had to something about that that wasn't normal. He picked her up and took her to his office seating her in a deep chair looking at her face trying to figure out who she was. _Was this a memory?_

A crash of thunder disturbed the tranquillity she awoke screaming he jumped back.

"Who are you?!" He said looking at her misty black eyes, she tilted her head before moving a little forwards and collapsing again.

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The light closes tight on a stone cold night and yet we hear it echo...

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His thick black robes rippled behind him as he took a vantage-point in a doorway looking out onto what seemed like a completely vacant corridor. As the cold air condensed about his breath leaving a white mist in front of his he saw his opportunity and took it slipping out of the room and skulking along the wall trying to remain out of site in the pitch black of the hallway. Buried beneath a deep folds of black he felt safe even from the Aurors that were sweeping the Riddle House like swarms of locust, it however didn't mean he was any safer. The walls were black like he was and he felt like a cat creeping about without sound like a shadow before he heard something; he caught a breath as he heard a small click behind him. Something grabbed him by the wrist and thrust him against the wall jamming what appeared to be an elbow into his spine.

"Name Scumbag!" A short sharp voice commanded, it was a soft voice that had a slight Scottish hint to it but sharp in the way it was being used. He kept his mouth shut but the aggressor twisted his arm behind his back with extreme force jamming something into the small of his back while holding him against the wall, it was apparent that the attacker wasn't using his elbow.

"Scum bag," he said slowly, this person was a woman, the ultimate insult, he'd been captured by a little lady though she didn't appear to be too little from where he was standing considering he was very tall himself.

"Name!" She barked increasing the pressure at the base to his spine.

"Snape!" He said his voice showing the strain his who body was being placed under.

"First name!" She snapped pressing him against the wall even harder.

"I don't have to tell you that!" He said dragging in a breath.

"First name!" She bellowed through gritted teeth twisting his arm even more.

"Severus," he grumbled shifting his head while the rest of him was pressed flat against the cold bricks.

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"Remain still and this won't take long," she snapped relenting her grip but still pressing herself against him he saw his opportunity and took it, he elbowed her in the face sending her flying against the opposite wall gripping her nose. He started running full pelt down the corridor. He took one look back at his aggressor, however he wasn't able to make out the shape, she was hunched over cursing him under her breath before she moved quickly picking herself up and following him swiftly. He managed to lose her at one point hiding in the corner of a secluded room, he watched her run past him, he even managed to laugh at his escape though it was a short lived victory. He ran into her on his way out again.

"Stop right there!" She ordered he looked over his shoulder to see a tall woman with long thin brown hair pointing what appeared to be a rather unusual weapon at him, he didn't recognise it at first, she was standing looking along the top her hands gripping a handle her right index finger under a silver ring he stopped, as approached relenting the silver objects accuracy as she walked up to him like he was the most volitile substance on the planet.

"Why won't you quit?!" He said in frustration as she pushed him against the wall a second time.

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"Because this is my job," she snapped pointing the weapon into the small of his back knocking him against the wall again. "Steady!" He said he hands began to wander down his torso checking for his wand or any other sort of weapon he may be carrying. Being a young man he got a laugh out of this experience had he been a little older he would have seen how embarrassing it was.

"I'm checking to see if you're armed," she said continuing to briskly move her hands down his legs and round his hips and under his arms her fingertips pressing against him making him tingle.

"Depends how you mean," he said a smirk spreading over his well defined face, he could tell his attitude was beginning to get to her, she was pressing lighter to him in an effort to show her discomfort. A shy little girl how amusing...

"I'm not interested in that!" She snapped unimpressed by the quip running her hands rather quickly into his pockets.

"I'd rather you didn't put your hands in there," he said as she rummaged through his pockets to check he hadn't got his wand on him. It was true he hadn't but it had been a while since a woman was actually pressed up against him he thought he'd allow her to continue rather than tell her he'd dropped it along his run.

"Where is it?!" She snapped becoming annoyed spinning him around pressing the weapon to his sternum. Her eyes were looking distressed, she hadn't wanted to touch this being let alone put her hands in his pockets. He was a Death Eater, the lowest of the low, what could she do to find out if he were armed other wise?

"What?!" He said innocently trying to mask his smirk, as she began to look increasingly more frightened by him.

"You're wand you disgusting animal!" She said jamming her hands into his pockets again continuing to hunt for his wand.

"I..." He started but they both realised what had happened, she flushed bright red and he turned his head away and moved a hand to his forehead hoping that she would move hers, well that was one thing he couldn't control. Now he was embarrassed, as well as she was, it seemed insane to think he had actually wanted that until her realised the consequences.

"Amarula!" A stern man's voice shouted, she flinched and moved her hands from his pockets sharply.

"Rhan," she muttered in surprise pushing Severus into the wall again continuing to frisk his torso her hands beating violently against him this time rather than lightly.

"Get this crazy woman off of me!" Snape shouted in a different tone to the one he had been using with her. "I am an undercover Auror!" He said accenting his voice more with a Russian sound.

"What?" She said flabbergasted, he was lying that couldn't be true...

"Name?" Rhan said pulling her off of him sharply eyeing him scurrilously.

"Demitri Hiramov," he said composing himself, she glared at him, Rhan looked away he looked at her slyly looking down her shape now able to see her more closely.

"He's lying!" She snapped thrusting Rhan off like he were an insect. "What would a Russian be doing in English affairs if it wasn't illegal?" She was going to swing for him but though better of it, he was of a stronger build than she was and better apt at tackling her when he was expecting her to do so. She looked back at him, her eyes telling him to look away from her, she had never been made to feel so uncomfortable.

"This is not illegal Miss?" He said trying to find her name.

"My name is Julis Amarula!" She snapped tossing her hair back replacing the weapon to the belt of her light blue robes, it turned out to be a gun in the light, a silver pistol but not an ordinary one. It appeared to have a small oddly shaped bullet chamber to the side of that on her belt were what looked to be the bullets they looked more like tranquillisers but different in the light the were very large and appeared to be transparent filled with a sapphire liquid, something designed not to kill you instantly if fired from a distance but to keep you alive for as long as possible in agony. If she shot him in the back as close as she had been he would have been dead as soon as the bullet struck his skin.

"Julis isn't a girl's name!" He said arcing an eyebrow thinking of how to avoid having her shoot him.

"I'm not arguing about my name, you are a Death Eater, I even saw the Dark Mark on your arm. You can't believe him Rhan, I've been watching this man for months he's a Death Eater!" She insisted her fingers sitting over the handle of the gun ready to pick it up.

"I am not a Death Eater, I am on a mission," he said smoothly she didn't appear to have the heart to use it, but to keep it as a threat, he wanted to laugh in her face. Make her so angry because he could see in her heart and eyes she wouldn't have the guts to kill anyone.

"Letting him go will be the worst mistake of your life Rhan, take him in and let the Ministry look up this so-called Demitri Hiramov. He's lying!" She stammered her voice catching... "He's lying!"

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After the screams the silence falls and nothing is what it seems.

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"Julis?" He breathed brushing the greasy untidy rough looking filthy hair out of her face. A second clap of thunder and the silence was yet again broken a scream so shrill it cut through the whole of the castle. _What if the students were able to hear this?_

"You did this to me!" Her voice said in a low disgruntled tone yet again going to attack him but giving up without the strength to continue.

"I don't understand!" He stammered looking down at her as she lay catching her breath. "You were in Azkaban!" He looked to his desk and then to the table again, what was happening now? Why did everything have to occur at this time? When his life was beginning to pick up again, just as he was beginning to find his smile among people who had helped him to find the true way to life. Now a person from his past had come back to haunt him, to take away what he had found for himself because of something he had done to them. He never used to feel remorse, still never showed it but this was almost too much to bare, it was like a nightmare.

"It was supposed to be you..." she breathed before passing out again. She hadn't wanted to go there, was she so deserving, _was it what they had planned for her?_

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A circle has no beginning or end but this is not a circle, it's an undefined shape who's beginning is hazy and who's end has not been set...

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"Rhan," he heard a woman's voice echo. Severus couldn't see or hear anything but a mist, a fog and an echo that carried screams through the night, like wind over the sea, a loud deep yell of pain like it was coming from within a shell, and a gun shot ripping through the night air. Through his blurred state it was like seeing everything in slow motion he was able to hear the Rhan fall to the ground the whistle of the wind past him as he fell. See the hands carry back like there were nothing, lighter than a feather as they began to drop to the floor. Seeing a flash of black as his robes followed his body to the ground watching like in slow motion like a nightmare. He could feel a warm palm on his face and then feel everything return to normal as she loomed over the dead man the gun still pointed firmly at his head. "Stay where you are!" She snapped, Severus didn't believe she'd not grasped the whole situation as he staggered to his feet. She was still looking at him as if he were alive but it was so clear he wasn't... His eyes had rolled back in his head and his skin was becoming pale the eyes becoming dull.

"Step away Julis," he breathed.

"He tried to kill you!" She snapped still pointing the gun at his head the sounds of the other Aurors getting closer due to the sound of the gun shot becoming clearer.

"We can't stay here!" He yelled grabbing her by the arm. "Come on!" He continued pulling her away she was still pointing the gun at Rhan's head refusing to let him get away with it, like she'd lost her mind in mere seconds, it wasn't right it was inconceivable, had he done this to her?

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"Why do you never use the easy route, always make this more difficult than they have to be. You do have a wand right? You are a witch correct?" He said shortly.

"I don't make things more difficult, I make them as simple as I can for myself, I was never very good with magic. I had never had the real talent to use it properly so I use something my small mind can cope with," she said mocking herself and him at the same time, it had been bad enough she had caught him but that she was practically a squib made with even worse.

"All I'm saying is that if you did things with the magic you do know you would find life a lot easier than it is now. Say I were to want you to... better leave that. Say you wanted to be logical for once and use the talent Hogwarts saw in you instead of falling to the Muggles weapon instead of what the Magical community choose?" He said getting a huge kick our of the face her nose was twitching and her brown furrowing, getting annoyed with him. He wanted to watch her temper flare up.

"I don't see why you should question my logic, you're the Death Eater, you treacherous scum!" She said drawing her wand.

"Expelliarmus!" He roared her wand jumped from her hand into the air as she flinched and then into his. "Magic has it's uses too you know Julis," he hummed pocketing her wand.

"I see you people aren't into fair then," she said as her body felt like it was being drawn together in an invisible bind and being strung up like she were nothing at all.

"Fair is a gift, and you don't deserve it," he said coldly as her feet lifted from the floor he walked up to her slowly, she was like fire to him, warmth that he knew he needed but didn't care for. The problems you can't see in youth that means so much when you grow up.

"Patience is a virtue, you'll never have it," she spat. Her whole body was suspended from the ground making her seem powerless against him, she wasn't as timid as she first seemed but wasn't in a situation she liked.

"Why do I need patients?" He mumbled walking closer to her inanimate body fixing her eyes with a powerful stare.

"Because to escape you need to be able to wait and you'll never be able to stay in one place long enough without losing your mind," she snapped.

"Oh I believe I have plenty to occupy me," he hummed looking down at her.

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"And I don't believe they should involve me because I'm not interested..." he moved his face close to hers, she could feel his breath on her neck, if she was capable of movement she was sure she would be shaking but whether it would be from fear she wasn't certain. "Not in the slightest," she sighed as he pressed his nose under her jaw line.

"Me neither," he whispered to her ear becoming closer to her, she could feel him press up against her but holding his hands away from her brushing his lips against her torrid flesh as he leaned closer to her pressing harder against her, she wanted him but didn't have the guts to say. She was powerless, it frightened her.

"If you were any kind of man, you wouldn't need me tired up," she breathed as his nose pushed against hers lightly. "But you're a worm," she said with spite.

"I surmount more power than you realise Julis," he hummed eyeing her lazily.

"Then why such a cowardly attack if you're so..." he put on of his hands over her heart. "Powerful," she said huskily. He pressed his lips to hers making her think she was insane her smoothed his fingers up to her head holding her cheeks as he increased his passion, she could feel her heart rate increase as what appeared to be hot lead crept down her throat making her heart and stomach feel heavy with lust.

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"Because my dear, I make you want me and you can't fight it, I can feel it," he said pressing his hand to her rapidly beating heart. "Here."

"And you want me as well," she smiled as he dragged his hands down her sides. "That isn't your wand I feel pressing against me," she smirked. "Is it now Severus?" He looked into her misty black eyes narrowing his own and allowing her to fall limply to the floor.

"There is nothing you can prove," he laughed as some bracken behind them snapped. "Until next time my sweet," he whispered running into the thicket.

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How it started is still unknown but how it ends has yet to be written.

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He looked down at her, how could it be so, how could she have gotten away, she remembered all that time, she had made him a promise, that she would kill him herself, but she wasn't strong enough, she was dirty smelly and so weak he could see her bones. She looked like she would snap at the slightest amount of human contact like she had been deprived of everything. When she had opened her eyes he could see how dull the mist had become, how everything was so lethargic about her, not as elegant as she had been not that she had really been elegant. In her younger days when he had know her she was rather clumsy, that she couldn't direct a spell because her wand was too light for her. Her movements were either in stealth or so loud you could hear her coming a mile off, it was quite strange for a woman to be like that in his eyes. 

Acting against every moral fibre in him he lifted her and took her into his chambers lying her on the bed before running a bath. It wasn't going to be right but perhaps if she were clean she might feel better or he might feel better that she was in some respect her normal self. He had guilt eating at his head when he remembered her name, he had been ruthless. Taking advantage of her mind, her weaknesses, she wasn't so strong her mental strength had so many flaws. He discovered picking her apart was nothing at all and when it came to lust she was more driven than he was. No she was something completely opposite, a mirror image would show two time lines, Julis Amarula and the relic that stood before him now. Perhaps that was the way it was meant to be like that, perhaps...

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My time I spend in light of my own failure, the days I while away in the correction of the young in order to save my soul.

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"With us or against us Snape..." she said in a daze her voice sounding like someone so sure but not like you wish to believe them, her voice had a mist to it like her eyes, he didn't believe she knew what she was doing anymore. "Your choice," she pointed the gun at his forehead tilting her head from side to side like she was in some for of trance. Like nothing she did or said mattered anymore, as if she seemed to derive pleasure from suffering, from misery she was like him, he feared it.

"With you..." he stammered as the wind wiped round him... the gun no longer frightened him but his actions had... she'd killed again... killed again and she didn't care. She had a smile on her face like she couldn't find anything that would make her happier than she was right then. He was no longer her partner in crime but her acomplis not worthy of recognition by Aurors due to his sheer like of action not that he enjoyed killing. It was pointless and a waste and every part of him was against it, no one deserved it, no one at all. Death wasn't something he would participate in anymore, never again.. if he could help it.

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I'm not without fault, but I know when to stop.

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He undressed her looking away he didn't want to look at her, it would be wrong, and carried her to the water which turned murkier than her skin as the dirt began to dissolve into it. Her eyes were blinking rapidly but remaining closed, her face moving from side to side in a completely stressed. He left her in the water for a moment considering his next move. He closed his eyes picked up the soap covered his hands and plunged them into the water massaging the rest of the grime from her body, he couldn't help feeling guilty even though what he was doing would do her good and not harm.

It wasn't like he'd never touched her before, but every time he had it had been for the wrong reasons, he didn't like seeing her this way... it was terrible to think he had been the one that made her end up this way... _because fear is powerful and emotion lacking the spirit hides away..._

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Well I'm a tiger when the wolves out

And the snake if we disagree.

("Bungle in the Jungle," by Jethro Tull.)

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Author's Note: Okay this is very strange, it stuck me one time and then I started writing it and the end makes me cry... I never cry, I'm so sad... ^_^;; The next bit will be done as soon as possible though I don't know when I will finish it. Should be soon I hope and yes I know the whole flipping back and forth is very strange but I like it, never thought I would attempt to write something sad, I'll probable kill the plot, but I have work to do now, stuff to clean etc... I'm such a slave...

I.C. Fire

silver_shadow54@hotmail.com


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